When I was little, around 3 -4 ish, my parents belonged to The Church In The Wildwood. My godparents were the pastors, and they were wonderful people.
There were maybe 20 people in their church and when everyone showed up some would have to stand or sit on the floor, but it was always filled with love.
Then Bill Crume, the pastor, had a heart attack and they decided to stop preaching and close the church. It was time for them to retire and enjoy their family.
That left a lot of hurt feelings for some members, including my parents. They felt betrayed and alone without a church.
Then my mom got a message from God. She was to go to her best friend's church and tell them "You are like the bankers Jesus threw out of the temple not children of God. If you don't change, I will end this church". He also told her that she was to deliver the message and leave.
So my parents went, mom delivered the message....and they stayed. Their best friends were in the church, and dad said he didn't think it would hurt anything, just to stay for a while and see if they accepted God's word.
What they didn't know is that mom wasn't the first person to give that exact message to the church.
Time passed, we got to know everyone, I got saved, they became like family. Then one night, when I was 8 years old, something happened.
The minister of this church was of a mind to become a televangelist. We had a sound booth in the loft, fancy light system, big church.
These two guy's came in, Sunday evening service, they were holding hands and slinking to the nearest empty pew closest to the door.
I didn't know what gay was at the time but they were a gay couple. And I ask you to imagine how much God had to move them to walk into a church, let alone holding hands, in the bible belt in 1981.
The minister held up a hand, music stopped. He held up his other hand, lights came up. Then he stared at the back until everyone had turned around.
He then told them " You're not welcome here. You are abominations in the sight of God. Leave now". And they ran out that door.
Then he apologized to the congregation, held up his hands and service started again. Me and my friends thought maybe they were serial killers or something, for all that commotion.
I mean, you had to be really bad to get kicked out of church, right?
So on the way home I asked my dad what happened. He said they were gay. I asked what gay meant. He said it's when men loved men like they should love women and that it was a sin.
Well I thought about it a minute and asked why they were kicked out of church for being sinners when that's what church was for.
He told me he wasn't talking about it anymore, drop it. So I did. Didn't stop thinking about it though.
That was the night I lost all respect for the church, but being a little kid, I also lost faith in God.
I wasn't old enough to discern between God and the church. To me it was all the same because church was God's house.
So if God was going to throw sinners out of his house, and I was a sinner....how could I go to God's house? And I didn't want to serve a God who would turn away people who needed him.
Because of a bad church, a bad minister, and parents who didn't want to get into a difficult conversation...I not only stopped believing in church but I had a rift with God because I didn't know how to bridge that gap on my own.
It took years to get back right with God, and it took almost 30 years to get right with church.
So if you have questions, ask. If someone asks you questions and you don't know the answer, ask. Don't leave anyone searching for God in the dark.
And if you're in a bad church, get out. Don't stay in a place that's full of lies, gossip, competition. Where money means more than God does.
My parents almost lost everything. Their punishment shook them to the core, to this day they've never been back in church, and it's their loss. They should have searched out God, found their answers in his word, let him guide them where HE wanted them to be.
I had to repent, and I mourned for those years that I could have been doing God's will, reaching out to people...instead of being lost trying to find my own way.
And that's my testimony.
And I have to get up in front of a church full of strangers and tell this.
I'm imagining thrown vegetables....
Yeah, I DON'T want to do this.
But I'm going to, because God said so.
And I know it's a bigger deal to me than it will be to anyone else....
*sigh*
When God told me to tell this, I cried, alot. Not because I had to speak in front of people....because this hurt my heart in ways I had forgotten.
Through this, God healed a little broken piece of my heart and soul.
If it does nothing else, it did that.
God bless and good night.
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