Reminiscing

I have this picture tattooed on my arm. 

Why?

Because I wanted a reminder that none of us are perfect. She's shedding her wings, throwing away the image of angelic perfection in exchange for the appearance of humanity.  

This is the moment my introduction back into Christianity began. When I started to question the idea that we're supposed to strive for perfection,  which is unattainable.  

It's possible,  even preferable to embrace my humanity.  Admitting that I'm a flawed individual,  that's the only way to approach God,  with humility.  

I'm thankful for this tattoo, it's constant presence a reminder of the day I took off the misguided wings of perfectionism.  

Five years ago I was dealing with Tyson's, hubby was dealing with an ex boss who was being a jerk. We were dealing with down cars, not enough money in the bank, constant problems.  

It was an awful period of time. 

Years, five long years of struggle. 

There were times in the midst of it when we contemplated suicide (not together and thank God not at the same time), when we broke down, yelled, screamed,  gave up for a minute.  

God brought us through. Faith brought us through.  Giving it to him, trusting him. 

And he delivered.  

He delivered us from the pain, from the drama, from the turmoil. Life is good, we're enjoying our period of blessing.  

And yes, it is a period. 

Things happen,  they have to. 

You don't grow and learn if life just plods along handing you kittens and rainbows. 

I'm not sure I have the words  to describe how bad it got. How hard it was to know our best wasn't going to cut it, relying on the kindness of friends because we were literally going to lose everything.  

Fighting a battle on two fronts when we weren't sure we had the strength to get through what we were already juggling.  

Having a huge company cause me permanent injury and fighting not only them but my body too. 

When I look back at how far I've come dealing with the pain, accepting the way life is now....

It's a big transformation.  

And who I am today, I credit to God. 

I couldn't have gotten through it without God and Bill Dear, and I wouldn't have Bill if it wasn't for God.  

So much has happened, changed.  

God is constant and I am so blessed to be in his presence again. 

Reminiscing is fun, painful, nostalgic.  

It's also a reminder of how far we've come from who we were. 

May your reminiscence be a good one,  may you have come far in the right direction.  

God bless.