Drudgery

Drudgery: hard or dull work. 😔

So life, basically...😉

Scrubbing toilets. 🚽

Taking out the trash.🗑

Doing dishes.🧽

Cleaning hair out of the drain.🤭

Cleaning poo: elderly, baby, pet...we all poo.💩

All things most of us do daily. 🙉🙈🙊

Then there's work, family, drama, conflicts, calamities.  Which all adds to the load we must carry. 🧺🧹🛒🧰🗃📦💰

For some of us there's the added bonus of chronic pain or illness or both.  People with disabilities,  or missing body parts who require aids to get around. People with diminished mental capacity who still manage to live a mostly independent life. 💊🏥🤒😷😵😢 

And I hear all the time how " There are people who have it worse" is a bad thing to say. 💬

"How dare you invalidate my experience! ". 

Really? 🙄

It doesn't invalidate anything,  it's putting things in perspective.  Because someone out there does have it worse, and you could have it worse.  And while it's okay to have the problem you're having,  and it's okay to be upset or challenged.....

Don't lose sight of the blessings.  One of which is that it's not worse. 🙂

See that's the problem with a lot of people.  They're so busy being validated,  they don't gain a clear perspective.  👀

If you look for the bad, you will find it. If you look for the good, you will find it. Every moment of every day is filled with both. It's up to you to decide what to look for.  🔭

That doesn't mean you won't have problems.  We all have problems. It just means you stop living in your problems. 

I know people who literally look for problems just to get attention.  It's part of why I ditched social media. The internet is the perfect place to go to seek attention and feel even more ignored, which makes you look for more problems,  so you can feel ignored, and around and around she goes. 💣🌎

Stop.🛑

Look around and every day, find something that makes you happy. Write down one good thing that happened every day.  📝

Guess what?❔

It becomes a habit. 😱

Now, every time you're upset, or down, or having a bad day....

You still look for that one good thing that happened.  And you feel better. 🙃

You feel better because you shifted your focus from the bad, to the good. 🌞

We're not taught this. Society, our parents, our peers....it's all drama llama time 24/7. If you were taught this, you're a lucky person.  🍀

Train your brain, take control. Stop letting everything and everyone control you. 🤯

And I speak from experience.  

We went through some hard times, really low spots that almost broke us emotionally and financially.  🥺

Now I deal with pain on a daily basis, sometimes it's so bad all I can do is stop and grab something and wait for it to pass. 😩

For the longest time I had the worst attitude. I was mad, resentful,  bitter. 

I only saw the worst, expected the worst. 

I had no idea how to be happy. ☹

My mindset was wrong. 🤔

Happy, was when I was loved. Then happy was kids. Then happy was having a home. Then happy was having money. Then happy was having time.  Then happy was being less stressed. 😕

My "happy" was dependent on everything and everyone else. It never once occurred to me that happy had to come from me. 😮We're taught that "this or that made them happy". "Well he makes her happy, she makes him happy".

How are you supposed to find your happy when you're looking in all the wrong places? 🤦‍♀️

People are flawed, things change, you will be let down and disappointed because nothing goes according to expectations.  Expectations are the bane of happiness.  

So if your existence depends on your environment.....you're always going to be miserable.  😭

And folks, I was the epitome of miserable. 

I found this idea from a friend.  Write down every good thing that happened to you throughout a year and read them on new year's eve.  Bring in the new year with good memories.  ☺️

Great idea, and I needed the pick me up for sure. 

Then a wonderful thing happened completely by accident,  or God.  

Probably God.  💗😊💗

My attitude changed.  

My perspective shifted. 

I started seeing the good, and I started looking for it, and the more I looked the happier I was and I finally realized I am my happy.  🥳

My family still makes me happy, but it's better now because I don't hold them responsible for my happiness,  now they just add to it. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

I can have pain that makes me cry and still be happy just being able still walk.  I learned to appreciate what I can do when I can do it, and that makes me happy. 🚶‍♀️

I find my happy, I make my happy, I live my happy. 💛

Now everyone and everything else...just adds to it, enhances it.  💓

And when I have a bad day, or a bad week or things go wrong....the negative just reinforces the happy, because I know it could be worse, I know it will get better, and I know it depends on how I choose to see it. 👓

And there are days...pain, hormones, situations....that bring me down. I get depressed,  I have bad days. We all do, it's life. 🤷‍♀️

The difference is that I can be moody or depressed or in pain or have a bad day...and I can still find that one good thing. 🙋‍♀️

As long as I can find that one good thing, the day is okay, I'm okay, and I know my happy is still there,  tucked away inside. 📭

I don't know why I felt compelled to write this today, but I guess someone needs it. 

God gives us gifts, every minute of every day. 🎁

Just our basic senses are a gift, waking up is a gift, being capable of love and compassion is a gift. ❣

Open your door or look out the window.

The birds, bees, trees, flowers, grass, sky, clouds, rain.....all gifts. 🖼

We're surrounded by every day run of the mill wonderful amazing gifts that we take for granted.  🤪

Hopefully this will be a gift to someone too. 🤝

God bless and have a great weekend! 

👋😄