Spiritual Attacks

I am struggling with a spiritual attack. 

Every time I'm in church and God starts speaking to me (not audibly, but an internal tug at my heart and mind) I start having awful pains.  

My sciatica or my arthritis will flair and I know it's designed as a distraction.  

I'm focusing on prayer, to block the attacks, and when they happen I immediately alleviate the pain as best as I can.  I hyper focus on the service, on what I'm supposed to be hearing.  

It's difficult though, painful, and I'm so tired of the pain already....

I'm doing what I can.  

And I think I need help, guidance,  prayers.  Definitely prayers. 

Last night they prayed for us to break our chains of self doubt,  I prayed because I was getting slammed with that one pretty hard too. Only during church though. 

It was wierd. 

Anyway, I did some research and I checked off everything that causes "I'm not good enough ". 

My parents weren't bad, but they had problems that enforced it, I was basically raised to think I would never be worthy of love and acceptance.  

Well I'm tired of fighting it, I'm tired of it coming back to haunt me like some ghost. So I gave it to God,  I rebuked the devil, and I asked God to burn it. The past is exactly that, past...done.  I can't change it,  I can't erase it.  

What I can do is learn from it and leave it behind me where it belongs.  

Time to move forward.  

I did find a really good prayer, called the believers warfare prayer.  I'm going to add it to my daily routine for a while, until I can get the spiritual attacks to stop at least. 

Armed with prayer, God's love, and the blood of christ.  The armor of God....

God is good and I am blessed.  

Hope you all have an absolutely wonderful Easter.  

God bless