Alright Then

I need to talk.

I also have pictures. 

So you get both,  lol.

I used to be afraid of bees just because they looked a lot like wasps. When I was about three I got stung and ever since I had this fear.

Same thing with heights. I was three and my grandpa hung me out a high rise window by my dress straps. He was being funny but it caused me to have a deep set fear. 

Three was a traumatic year, lol. That was also the summer, after having watched Jaws,  that dad threw me in the pool and thought my instincts would take over. Apparently I don't have any because I sank. Cue the fear of water. 

I don't blame them, or myself,  or the bees. Things happen.  But I'm not a child anymore and it's high time those fears were put behind me.  

I don't plan on bungee jumping or ocean swimming any time soon,  but I'm trying to wrangle those fears into something manageable.

  That's what we're supposed to do.  Take the damage, bad teaching,  wrong thinking and make something good of it before we let it go and move on.

Which requires us to 1st acknowledge it.  2nd to deal with it.  3rd to let it go. 

I'll be honest.  Deep, early childhood trauma is like trying to remove kudzu. Kudzu is a vine that grows in the south. It can take root anywhere, it's hard to kill, hard to remove, comes back, and will destroy everything in its path over time. 

But it's not impossible. It's just a pain. 

Which is why most people don't get better. Facing our problems isn't fun, often it's painful. Who volunteers for that right?

This girl.

Cause I want to be better. 

I want to look back and see it all behind me. 

I want to feel those burdens fall off my shoulders.  

God bless you all. 😊

Have a blessed day. ❤