Loss

We lost little Tabitha Jane sometime in the wee hours Tuesday morning. 

I don't  know what happened,  I wasn't prepared for it or expecting it,  and I miss her terribly. 

She was my baby. She would come find me throughout the day and curl up on my chest,  roll on her back and lie there wanting her belly rubbed and her nose petted. She'd put her paws on my chin and purr so loud. 

She wasn't even 2 yet.

So young.

I wonder about all the things I could have done differently,  should have thought of. Maybe, what if.....

Don't do that.

Ever.

Unless you really did ignore signs and were in denial....and then you learn and move on. 

Cause life happens and so does death and society gives us this toxic mentality that everything is someone's fault and everything is preventable. 

Things happen and it's okay not to know how or why.  

Facing a lot of that lately. 

Things happen. 

We're blessed to know God,  to have a relationship with him. 

I don't know.....the more I know the more I know that I don't know. 

And it's okay to not know. 

Because he does.

He knows everything. 

I have such a microscopic,  limited view of the world and my place in it. 

We all do. 

I trust God and I know that no matter what happens,  how hurt I am or how broken my heart is....he's turning everything to my good.  

It's awesome to be that loved.